Umm, Remember Me? I Totally Understand If You Don't...

Wow. It's been over a week since I've blogged. And I aaaam sorry. My job has been super busy for tax season, and I've been working late almost every day. I like to post my blogs during lunch, but I've been working through lunch and blah blah blah, 8 days later and here I am, begging for forgiveness to all 5 of my readers (hi Mom!).

The good news is I've been doing really well, even with my crazy schedule. I didn't get to work out as much as I would have liked to last week, but I was still 212lbs on Friday! I haven't seen my number that low in 2 years!

I made it through the weekend without doing too bad at all. We went to Ohio to visit Jon's grandma, and went to Denny's for dinner (classiest). I got their new veggie burger that comes on a whole wheat bun with baby spinach and pepper jack cheese. They put the mayo on the side too. I did eat all my fries, but saved half the sandwich and had it the next day for lunch.

Sunday my family came over for dinner. I made lasagna and broccoli. We had fresh italian bread and my mom brought stuff to make angel food cake for dessert. It was such a nice evening. I didn't overindulge, and I even walked the Stairs of Death with Murray before my family got here. Working out on a Sunday??? That's crazy talk!

It was nice out on Monday, so I came home and walked the previously mentioned Stairs of Death with Murray. Maybe I should clarify: I walked around my neighborhood and finished off by climbing said Stairs of Death.

Last night I went to a 90 minute Zumba class with Allison. It was good. Super sweaty, and maybe 90 minutes is a bit much for a class, but my favorite instructor from my old Zumba studio taught part of the class and it was so good to see her. She was diagnosed with leukemia last year, and I'm assuming she's doing well and in remission. Like Allison said, if Dani can teach a Zumba class after having cancer and going through chemo, we have no excuse not to work out. Ever.

Allison and I were supposed to take some progress pictures this past Friday, but we ended up not seeing each other at all this whole weekend! I hated it. Anyway, I took a few on my own. I feel like there's a difference, but who knows.

2-11-11



2-11-11



3-11-11

3-11-11

Maybe there's a difference? The jeans definitely felt looser.

Today my boss asked me how much weight I've lost. It's always a good feeling when people notice.

Anyway, I know tomorrow is another busy day for me. Hopefully by Friday things will be calmer and I'll talk to you bloggers again!

xoxo








Nonfat Tuesday

It's Tuesday already! I was so busy all day today, I didn't have a chance to write anything this morning or at lunch.

I had a gyno appointment today, and we talked a lot about PCOS. She really seems to think I have it, and for the first time in all my years of going to doctors, I really felt like this doctor was empathetic and truly wanted to help. She had me get blood work done right away, and I meet with her again in 2 weeks to go over the results. I expressed my frustration in my sloooow weight loss, but she said I'm doing everything right. She even said if I wasn't already on Weight Watchers, she'd recommend it for me.

I met with my trainer today, and it was a good workout, as usual.  My knees are really bothering me today though. It could be because I wiped out going UP the stairs at work yesterday and spilled coffee everywhere. My boss heard me fall, and pointed out all of the coffee stains on the carpet from him falling. It made me feel better and forget about my throbbing knee. At least for a little while.

Oooh, I almost forgot. I had my measurements taken last Thursday with my trainer. My folder is upstairs, and I'm lazy, so I'll post them tomorrow. I wasn't super happy with my results, but there were some changes.

Also, weirdly enough, my weight went back down. The only thing I can figure is that I had a pretty big dinner Sunday night and maybe that affected it? I don't know. As of this morning I was 213.8, which is my lowest yet. I really needed to see that low number. I was starting to get pretty discouraged, and I could feel myself slipping a little bit.

So, I tried something new for dinner tonight: tofu shirataki noodles! Have you ever tried them?

The instructions say to rinse well and to heat for at least 60 seconds to get rid of the "distinct odor" which is a little disconserting, but I followed the instructions and mixed them with some fake ground meat and spaghetti sauce and voila:





Texture wise, I'd say it's a cross between regular spaghetti and spaghetti squash. Either way, it was delicious and the whole bag was only 1 point! Way easier to make than spaghetti squash. I think it's going to be my new pasta substitute.

I feel like between my doctor appointment, training and my new spaghetti, a fresh wave of motivation has come over me. This whole journey is as much about losing weight as it is getting healthy for me.

I just feel good tonight.

xoxo

Sigh

This weekend was rough.

FRIDAY
It started out good. I had Friday off because my best friend from college, Travis, was coming to visit. I woke up early, and took my dog on a long walk and climbed the Stairs of Death. I was feeling good. I had an apple before my walk, a veggie burger for lunch, and some steamed veggies later on in the day before dinner. We went to this new burger placed called Burgatory (awesome). We left early thinking we'd be elderly and eat dinner at 5:30 on a Friday, but it ended up taking us over an hour and half to get there, thanks to traffic and my GPS being 100% wrong. We also had a 75 minute wait for a table, so naturally we did some shopping. I bought a cute orange rain/spring jacket. I think it's the first orange piece of clothing I've ever owned. Allison and Travis really liked it, so I went with it. It helped that it was pouring rain all night, and the new jacket had a hood.
Dinner was awesome. I got a veggie burger (shocking), and I don't know if it was just that I was just so hungry, but it was one of the best veggie burgers I've ever had. The burgers come with homemade potato chips, and they use regular and sweet potatoes. Also, they have all of these crazy milkshakes, both alcoholic and non. Travis and I both got a non-alcoholic caramel pretzel milkshake. Holy crap, was it good. I only had about half of the milkshake, and half of my burger and took the rest home. I was still uncomfortably full, which would turn into the theme of the weekend.
We went to 80s night at the bar we always go to, and it was fun. Not too crowded since the local colleges are all on spring break (wooo!), so that's always a plus.
The next part is what ruined me for the weekend. We all came back to my house, and sat around the dining room table talking and playing board games. The next thing I know, it's 5 in the morning and my mom is calling me because Jon butt dialed her. 5 IN THE MORNING!!! As soon as I realized what time it was, I went to bed. And didn't wake up until noon, which brings me to...

SATURDAY
Sloth

SUNDAY
Sloth

MONDAY
3lb gain

Ugh.

I did eat too much this weekend. I didn't binge, but it's safe to say I wasn't logging my points at all. 

Depending on what minute and what hour it is, I'm either feeling super motivated or super discouraged.

It makes me so mad that it took me a month to lose 7 pounds, and in 3 short days I could gain 3 of those back. I'm hoping that they'll come back off fairly quickly. I'll keep everyone posted.

xoxo

It Has Been 10 Days Since My Last Binge

Did anyone watch this week's Heavy? I DVR'd it on Monday and watched it last night. Food addiction is a crazy thing. I felt like with the woman, I could have been watching an episode of Intervention. There was a lot I could relate to, especially with the closet eating (although, I think she would literally eat in the closet).

I do feel like I'm making strides with my eating. I'm home a lot by myself, which used to be my favorite time to pig out. I haven't binged since February 19th. I also haven't skipped a workout since that weekend.

Yesterday was a day full of temptations. Our house was seriously lacking in the grocery department, so I kind of threw my lunch together with what we had, and I wasn't looking forward to eating it. I hate not being excited about my lunch. I was tempted to order something small with the rest of the office, but I decided against it. And you know what? My lunch wasn't that bad at all. I didn't have enough food for the afternoon, and I forgot my post-gym banana, but I still turned down my boss' offer to buy us all frozen yogurt from the place up the street. I know I could have had some yogurt, and still maintained my points, but it is a very slippery slope for me. I was afraid I'd eat the yogurt and not push myself at the gym like I would have normally, or go home after training instead of doing my cardio.

As it turns out, I had my days mixed up and I train today and Thursday. Even though I was hungry, I forced myself to do my 60 minutes of cardio. Then, the hunger voice started.

"What am I going to make when I get home? I have no groceries."

"I could go the other way home and stop at Whole Foods and get something from their hot foods buffet."

"I do have a ton of points left for dinner. I wonder how many points macaroni & cheese is?"

(I hope this doesn't make me sound schizophrenic, but it literally is a battle with myself.)

I ended up just going straight home, and stayed well within my points. I made some pasta with that Ronzoni Smart Taste rotini. I added some spinach and marinara sauce. Along with some fat free cheddar. For my garlic toast (which I always need to have with pasta), I toasted one of those garlic herb wraps I mentioned before, and spread a Laughing Cow cheese wedge on it.

It's funny (and by funny, I mean gross and no wonder I weigh this much) how many servings of pasta I used to make for myself. I would have a full giant bowl and add tons of cheese.

This is an actual serving:

Was it a ton of pasta? No. Was I satisfied versus stuffed to the point of feeling uncomfortable? Yes. I'm pretty into that feeling!

For dessert I had some fat free cool whip and frozen fruit. There was no picking at things while I was waiting for my food to cook (an old, very bad habit of mine), and I drank a bunch of water last night too.

SUCCESS.

xoxo

My First Whole Month of Operation Stop Being a Fatass (sorry Mom)

It's been a whole month already. I kind of really hoped to have lost more than 8 pounds my first month, but I know that's still good. It's been tough, but worth it.

I've mentioned before that I can tell my body is getting stronger, and it's something I've never really experienced before. It's such a weird feeling. I've never been thin, and I don't think one can really "get back in shape" when never being in shape to begin with.

I've been able to up my cardio more than I ever thought possible. I'm looking forward to the weather changing, and being able to do more outside stuff.

Tonight I meet with Trainer Andy, and I'm sure it will be a legs day which means I will hate my life from about 5:30 today until next Monday when I stop being sore and get to start it all over.

xoxo

Weekend Recap

Hola, lovers. What a lovely weekend. Friday night, Allison came over, and we the made the cauliflower pizza recipe I found on the blog, Escape from Obesity (You should check out her site. She's really inspiring and has a ton of recipes.). It was surprisingly good! Who knew that substituting pizza crust with cauliflower could be so tasty? We tweaked the original recipe a little bit. We made 1 and a half servings, and I didn't have enough mozzarella cheese so we used some fat free cheddar too. Also, I used 1 and half regular eggs instead of buying Egg Beaters (they are too expensive and I'm too cheap). 

Allison's side got a little burnt in the broiler, but she said it was actually really good a little extra-crispy.

Even Murray couldn't tell the difference.

It was a perfect Friday night meal. We did a Biggest Loser DVD beforehand, and both talked about how nice it was not to be too full. It was just the right amount of food.

Saturday morning we went to Zumba and it ended up being a gorgeous day. I got home and was starving, and so was Jon. I knew he wanted to order a pizza, but he wasn't willing to order a smaller sized one so we didn't pig out. He can be stubborn. I suggested I could make a good lunch (and selfishly keep it healthy for me). I made veggie burgers with sauteed green peppers & onions on a low fat bagel with fat free cheddar and ketchup & mustard, jalapeno & cheddar pierogies, and asparagus on the side. It was really good, and again the perfect amount of food.

Saturday night was Lady Gaga. My camera battery was dead and I have no idea where my charger is, so I only have a few blurry pictures from my phone. We went to Allison's before hand, and had some snacks and a ridiculous drink Allison made. It was super sweet, but good.

Our friend Jess is very pregnant, and her boyfriend made her a shirt that said "Little Monster Inside Me"

Awesome stage

I did have a few drinks that night, but stayed away from beer and had rum and diet Coke. It was such a fun night. Allison and I had a sleepover, and stayed up way too late talking. I woke up kind of early and drove home.

I told Jon since we didn't order pizza Saturday, we could Sunday. I ordered a grilled chicken salad (chicken on the side, and Murray has been getting some delicious treats). It still had french fries and cheese on it, but I was ok with that. Jon still insisted on ordering an extra large white pizza. The pieces were cut pretty narrow, so I did have 2 slivers. Even though Sunday is my day off from working out, I wanted to get some form of exercise since food wise, I ate more than I would on a normal weekend. I decided to take Murray on a super long walk through my neighborhood. There are so many streets I haven't been on yet, and I wanted to explore. It was an absolutely beautiful day out yesterday.

One of my fitness goals is to be able to walk from the flat part of my neighborhood, up to the slopes, where I live. Jon does it all the time, but I was afraid I'd get so far up and not be able to make it the rest of the way. I tested myself yesterday and did about 2/3 of the walk. I did get out of breath, but my legs felt strong the whole time. This is the view from the top of the set of steps I took. It probably shows about half of the climb.

I had Murray with me, so there were breaks taken for peeing and sniffing, but we made pretty good time!

I didn't expect to lose weight this weekend, but I wanted to at least maintain, so I had a very light dinner of cauliflower mashed potatoes. I used a wedge of Laughing Cow Cheese to make them creamy. Again, surprisingly good!

So that was my weekend. My weight this morning was 215.8 which means I lost about 2.8 pounds this past week and I am happy with that.

xoxo

The Scale And I Are Not On Speaking Terms Right Now

I've been uneasy about sharing my actual weight on this blog. What if someone I know (besides my close friends and family) reads it? Today I decided I don't care. I will never be this number again, so I might as well let people know.

I WEIGH 217.2 POUNDS

Aaaah, I feel liberated. Back at the beginning of February I was 223. My highest weight ever was 229 and that was about a year ago. My lowest weight in the past year or two was 208. So there it is. My goal weight is between 145 and 150. I'd like to weigh less than my boyfriend.

It's so crazy though how quickly my motivation can go out the window. I mentioned yesterday that the scale finally moved. I finally got away from that one number I've been hovering around for weeks (damn you, 217!). I was a little doubtful of it, but scales don't lie, right? The weird thing about weighing myself yesterday was it gave me 3 different numbers (210, 212 and 213) each time I stood on it. The number I decided to accept was actually the highest of the 3, as to avoid any disappointment later on. Fast forward to this morning: 217.2 all 3 times.

WTF? (sorry mom)

Since I've really been having trouble losing this time, I've gotten into the bad habit of weighing myself every day. Every day I step on the scale hoping that it will reflect my hard work and most days I'm disappointed. This morning was no exception. I was right back to the annoying number! Gah! It's. Just. So. Frustrating. And that was all it took. It's rainy, cold and miserable outside. The zipper on the boots I wanted to wear today wouldn't go up, I forgot my gym shoes, I got stuck in annoying traffic and was late for work. I almost ate a bagel for breakfast. I even went as far as to look up the Points value, but I didn't feel comfortable not knowing the exact nutritional information. I guess that's a good sign. So, as tempted as I was to have half a blueberry bagel with light cream cheese, I opted for a bowl of oatmeal.

Something occurred to me a few minutes ago though. I'm wearing a pair of my "before pics" jeans. I couldn't remember how poorly they fit, and haven't looked at the pictures since I took them off my phone. I thought they were just really uncomfortable, but they just really didn't fit.

Don't mind the mess, or the granny panties.

myspace

I definitely see a difference. I neeeeed to start focusing on positive changes in my body, the way I feel, and my energy level. Enough of obsessing over the scale. I'm done.

Random thoughts:

-Since my boots wouldn't work this morning, I had to wear my black flats I had in my gym bag since I was running so late.

Perfect for this weather:

-There are 2 people at my gym that I can't figure out. The first is this tall guy I see every day. He reminds me of a caveman. He has crazy pre-dread dark hair, and a spotty beard. I actually think he might attractive, but I can't get past the tank tops and short shorts he wears! It's so distracting! Yesterday I saw him in his regular clothes, and he was very well dressed. I'm thinking he's European. I wish I could take a picture, but this is as close as I could find from Google Images (sans the tube socks):

The 2nd person is this well kempt older woman I've seen quite a few times who only ever drinks out of a Wendy's cup with a straw. So strange.

Anyway, I'm so happy it's Friday. I'm going to see Lady Gaga and The Scissor Sisters tomorrow night with my lovely ladies, Allison , Jess, Darrin & Todd.

Have a fabulous weekend!

xoxo