I've been uneasy about sharing my actual weight on this blog. What if someone I know (besides my close friends and family) reads it? Today I decided I don't care. I will never be this number again, so I might as well let people know.
I WEIGH 217.2 POUNDS
Aaaah, I feel liberated. Back at the beginning of February I was 223. My highest weight ever was 229 and that was about a year ago. My lowest weight in the past year or two was 208. So there it is. My goal weight is between 145 and 150. I'd like to weigh less than my boyfriend.
It's so crazy though how quickly my motivation can go out the window. I mentioned yesterday that the scale finally moved. I finally got away from that one number I've been hovering around for weeks (damn you, 217!). I was a little doubtful of it, but scales don't lie, right? The weird thing about weighing myself yesterday was it gave me 3 different numbers (210, 212 and 213) each time I stood on it. The number I decided to accept was actually the highest of the 3, as to avoid any disappointment later on. Fast forward to this morning: 217.2 all 3 times.
WTF? (sorry mom)
Since I've really been having trouble losing this time, I've gotten into the bad habit of weighing myself every day. Every day I step on the scale hoping that it will reflect my hard work and most days I'm disappointed. This morning was no exception. I was right back to the annoying number! Gah! It's. Just. So. Frustrating. And that was all it took. It's rainy, cold and miserable outside. The zipper on the boots I wanted to wear today wouldn't go up, I forgot my gym shoes, I got stuck in annoying traffic and was late for work. I almost ate a bagel for breakfast. I even went as far as to look up the Points value, but I didn't feel comfortable not knowing the exact nutritional information. I guess that's a good sign. So, as tempted as I was to have half a blueberry bagel with light cream cheese, I opted for a bowl of oatmeal.
Something occurred to me a few minutes ago though. I'm wearing a pair of my "before pics" jeans. I couldn't remember how poorly they fit, and haven't looked at the pictures since I took them off my phone. I thought they were just really uncomfortable, but they just really didn't fit.
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| Don't mind the mess, or the granny panties. |
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| myspace |
I definitely see a difference. I neeeeed to start focusing on positive changes in my body, the way I feel, and my energy level. Enough of obsessing over the scale. I'm done.
Random thoughts:
-Since my boots wouldn't work this morning, I had to wear my black flats I had in my gym bag since I was running so late.
Perfect for this weather:
-There are 2 people at my gym that I can't figure out. The first is this tall guy I see every day. He reminds me of a caveman. He has crazy pre-dread dark hair, and a spotty beard. I actually think he might attractive, but I can't get past the tank tops and short shorts he wears! It's so distracting! Yesterday I saw him in his regular clothes, and he was very well dressed. I'm thinking he's European. I wish I could take a picture, but this is as close as I could find from Google Images (sans the tube socks):
The 2nd person is this well kempt older woman I've seen quite a few times who only ever drinks out of a Wendy's cup with a straw. So strange.
Anyway, I'm so happy it's Friday. I'm going to see Lady Gaga and The Scissor Sisters tomorrow night with my lovely ladies, Allison , Jess, Darrin & Todd.
Have a fabulous weekend!
xoxo
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